


Sirius' Brilliance Goes Down The Drain

by AshJuillet



Series: Challenges [8]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Baby Harry, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor, Scene Gone Wrong, St Mungo's Hospital
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:22:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29216394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshJuillet/pseuds/AshJuillet
Summary: One may believe that their behaviour was suspicious as they drew closer and closer to the ward-room. The sun had barely bloomed on the horizon, golden petals stretching outwards into the rich blue sky, as they tiptoed across the granite floor. On a mission with his reluctant accomplice, Peter, Sirius' goal was to scare the Potters.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Sirius Black & Peter Pettigrew
Series: Challenges [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2108157
Kudos: 2





	Sirius' Brilliance Goes Down The Drain

One may believe that their behaviour was suspicious as they drew closer and closer to the ward-room. The sun had barely bloomed on the horizon, golden petals stretching outwards into the rich blue sky, as they tiptoed across the granite floor. On a mission with his reluctant accomplice, Peter, Sirius' goal was to scare the Potters.

Peter peeked around the corner before glancing over his shoulder at Sirius. "Isn't this… _risky_? You're talking about kidnapping—"

"Hush, Wormy!" Sirius' eyes gleamed with excitement. He glanced over his shoulder one last time, making sure no one was nearby. "We're not _kidnapping_ my godson… just _borrowing_ him. How cool the story of our first meeting with Harry will be!"

Peter pursed his lips to stop himself from protesting. He'd been friends with Sirius for the past nine years, and he knew Sirius would always execute his plans. Inhaling slowly, Peter said, "I'm not going to be a part of this, Pads."

"If you don't do this, I'll tell Moony who ate his chocolate. You know how possessive he is about that." Sirius' warning was evident.

"That was _you_!" Peter cried, horrified by Sirius' threat of blackmail. When Sirius simpered, pleased with himself, Peter grimaced. "Fine! I'll do it, but only if you solemnly swear you won't use the chocolate blackmail again."

"Marauder's honour." Fingers crossed, Sirius shoved Peter towards the dimly lit nursery, following right behind.

Peter transformed into Wormtail—the only Animagus small enough to squeeze its way into the room—and scuttled through the minuscule gap in the doorway. Inside, he transformed back and looked at the bassinets.

A dozen babies were swaddled in beige blankets. Tiny toes peeked from underneath as the babies wiggled in their sleep.

"Aww, that's so cute." A goofy smile formed on Peter's face. He'd had no experience with babies, but now that James and Lily had a child, Peter would do everything he could to keep the baby happy.

"Stop looking at the rest, and grab Prongslet! We only need him!" Sirius whisper-yelled. When Peter turned to look at him, Sirius' hands were placed on either side of his face as he peered into the room through the large window overlooking the hallway.

Peter rolled his eyes before turning towards the babies. Suddenly, he paled. "Wait, which one? Sirius! Which one is James'?"

Sirius suddenly realised that they didn't have any idea which one was his godson. They hadn't even chosen the baby's name yet! All he knew—from word of mouth—was that the baby resembled James.

"Just grab the baby with black hair and weird nose!" Sirius instructed, but Peter was at a loss. _Half_ a dozen babies had black hair and strange noses!

"Give me a better description, Sirius!" Peter whisper-yelled, not wishing to wake the babies and attract any attention from the Healers. If they got caught by anyone, they were sure to get arrested.

"Why do all babies look like rotten potatoes?" Sirius whined, and Peter shot him a glare. "Fine, just grab the one that looks like James."

Peter scanned the babies' faces, looking for any resemblance to his friend but not finding any. He was about to look closer when Sirius let out a warning cry.

"Quick! Someone's coming! Pete, grab the baby and get out of there!"

In his panic, Peter picked up the nearest baby, cradled him, and bolted towards the door. Pushing it open, he sprinted through the long and winding corridor, Sirius cackling as he ran right behind him.

"We did it! We got Prongslet!" Sirius cheered once they were at a safe distance from the nursery, and Peter let out a terrified laugh, hands trembling. Sirius grinned and said, "Give me our baby before you drop him."

Peter wanted to protest again, but Sirius stole the baby from his arms. He began to coo at the little thing wrapped in the beige blanket, "Hello, Prongslet! Aww, you're so cute, yes, you are! I'm your Uncle Padfoot, and I'm going to love you for all eternity, I promise!"

"Introduce _me_ ," Peter demanded, but Sirius didn't hear him, too busy falling in love with his precious godson.

Finally looking away from the baby in his arms, Sirius smirked. "Now, we wait for James and Lily to panic."

* * *

But to their surprise, neither Potter called them panicking over their missing child. Instead, James sent Sirius a letter, demanding he come to the ward to see his godson soon.

Holding the letter in between his forefinger and thumb, like it was a Howler about to go off, Sirius glanced at Peter and asked, "Reckon they don't know their baby's missing yet?"

"What kind of parents are they if they don't know their own child's missing?"

"Terrible parents, really." Sirius looked down at the baby in his arms and cooed, "Don't you worry, kiddo! Uncle Pads is going to kick Daddy's arse."

"Language!" Peter cried, covering the baby's ears with his hands. "You can't swear in front of the baby! Don't you remember the parenting books James forced us to read?"

"Ugh." Sirius cupped the baby's bottom and hoisted him up, remembering the technique James' books had taught him. "Let's go surprise Prongsie!"

Strolling through the maternity ward, they entered Lily's room and came across a startling sight.

Leaning against a mound of pillows, Lily sat breastfeeding a baby with a tuft of black hair, who was wrapped in a similar beige blanket.

"Who's that?" Sirius blurted out, unable to believe his eyes.

"More importantly, who's _that_?" James questioned from where he stood by the bed, squinting at the baby.

"We… don't know." Peter glared at Sirius, who ran out of there without a word to put the nameless baby back where he had come from.

"You stole someone else's baby?" James cackled at the realisation, and Peter grimaced.

Meanwhile, Sirius sheepishly placed the baby back in its bassinet. "Sorry I kidnapped you, kid—"

Just then, someone called out from behind, "What are you doing here?"

Sirius squeaked as he ran away.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Please review. :)


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